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I've written every week for 3 years...

Read for one insight that could change everything for you.

I've written every week for 3 years...

Read for one insight that could change everything for you.

Stephanie Hess Coaching

3 Million Dollar Insights from Date Night

September 07, 20235 min read

There’s a restaurant in Philadelphia that was awarded “Best Restaurant in the U.S” by the James Beard Foundation. Even after 15 years of service, it’s still one of the hardest tables in town to snag.

On a recent night out celebrating my love’s birthday, we were lucky—and patient enough—to snag one.

Here are 3 unexpected insights the evening illuminated:

1) Gold standard service always wins.

It didn’t come by surprise that the name of the restaurant means “gold” in Hebrew—and it lived up to its name.

There was a friendly check-in concierge who delivered cocktails to us as we waited, a wait staff crew who all seemed to magically and generously anticipate our needs, and the flawless execution of a five-course menu that exceeded every expectation we had.

It was not only the most tasteful and satisfying meal we’ve ever shared as self proclaimed “foodies”, but one of the more intimate and connected moments, which as new parents is priceless—and we didn’t bat an eye at our $300 tab. In fact, we were happy to hand over our credit card.

What would make your clients happy to pay you?

The rule, or guiding principle, that I’ve followed for years in my business is this:

Create Value First, Get Paid Second.

If I’m asking someone to invest $10K to work with me, I make it a goal to create $10K in value for them first. For example, they might get an insight that’s worth that much to them in our 20-minute chat, or it could happen in a pro bono coaching session that I offer a few times each month. Or, it might come in one of several high-value resources I share with them before they ever become a paying client. This is what allows the right people to say “Ok…I trust you”—and eager to sign up.

2) Upstream thinking got you here. Downstream thinking will get you there.

As someone wired for achievement, I have a tendency to lead—to want to dot every “i” and cross every “t”. It’s served me well professionally, and it’s also driven unnecessary stress and anxiety in the past.

I could have worried about the fact that we were attempting to walk in without having a reservation, the babysitter canceling, our son having issues going to sleep without us, the evening not being perfect, or running late and not relieving the babysitter on time…

This is a classic example of upstream thinking.

An equivalent of, almost without exception, taking your boat down to the river, putting your paddles in the boat and you start paddling upstream. You paddle really hard when you could just turn and go with the flow and you say to yourself…”but that seems too easy, that seems lazy and I don’t want to be lazy, besides…everyone else is paddling upstream…”

Nothing you want is upstream. Why are you paddling upstream?

Law of attraction says the best outcomes happen when I let go, when I loosen my grip on the steering wheel and hit cruise control. This is allowing life to flow as intended, opening up to all of life.

For me this looks like an in-the-moment mental reminder : “it’s all going to work out perfectly—it always does.”

That night we drove into the city on a Saturday night with zero traffic, pulled right into a parking spot around the corner from the restaurant, got two of the six seats available at the coveted chef’s counter, and had a text from the babysitter that our son was sound asleep as we relaxed into a perfect night—that upstream thinking would have kept us from having…

Because you can’t have a downstream life with upstream thinking.

In what ways are you paddling your “boat” upstream?

3) Your personal relationship is one of your greatest professional assets.

There are plenty of successful entrepreneurs in the world. But entrepreneurs who are successful AND thriving in their health, relationships, as parents, etc., are far less common.

This is because successful people are often successful because they’ve put all of their attention and resources in one area while the other areas have suffered. For years my boyfriend would ask me “how many more emails?” in the evening, and for years I binge ate in private to try and escape the mounting pressure and misalignment I was feeling in my life.

Today, I have rituals and routines to ensure I’m tending to all the areas of life that matter. And at the top of that list is my relationship, because when he and I are locked in, connected and solid—everything ripples out from there.

In the business sense, a stronger connection to my partner motivates me to perform well, it offers an outside perspective, it creates accountability, builds confidence, and he reminds me what is most important, ultimately—it allows me to show up as my best.

Creating and nurturing this connection isn’t something we always get right, and it requires practice and intention—especially after 10 years of partnership.

In addition to date nights to have fun together and unwind as a couple, we have weekly check-ins at the start of the week to discuss each other’s schedule and wishes for the week ahead, along with check-ins at the end of each week where we take stock on what went well that week and what could have been better; twice weekly calendar blocks for private time, and daily touch points ranging from morning coffee on the terrace to TikTok laugh breaks to hanging on the couch watching a show together in the evening.

This very article was inspired by a date night, because life has a way of giving us valuable lessons when we least expect it. I used to miss them, and now I notice them everywhere.

Pay attention to what life is trying to show you, be it through a date night, grocery run or coffee pickup—it might just hold your next million dollar insight. Bonus points if you write or tell your clients about it.

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Stephanie Hess

Stephanie help coaches and other experts achieve ‘moonshot’ goals. Like how to have 10-30 of the right clients each year who pay well so you can enjoy an amazing quality of life and contribution.

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Stephanie

Hi there, I help coaches and other experts achieve ‘moonshot’ goals. Like how to have 10-30 of the right clients each year who pay well so you can enjoy an amazing quality of life and contribution.

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