Growing up I observed a lot of reinforcements for “hard work.”

I took this messaging into my adult life. It shaped how I worked—and it allowed me to create a lot of success. I was organized, highly efficient, proactive, social, met deadlines, a high achiever, and always appeared calm. Hallmark, yet unassuming traits of someone operating with high functioning anxiety.

But I was a hard worker. And working hard is how you earn a living and respect. Working paycheck to paycheck is what you do. You work 5 days a week all year round with the exception of a week off for vacation in the summer and a few days around the holidays. The paycheck you would get every two weeks would be enough to take care of your family, but you’d have to be careful—there would never be dollars left over to waste. You’d never live beyond your means. You’d get a 3% raise every year, for the rest of your life. You’d be expected to do a lot more with a lot less on the job after years time. You’d become exhausted. The exhaustion would lead you to come home at night and fight with your spouse and your children would secretly notice. You’d soon resent the work that you worked so hard at, for decades. But you could still rest your laurels on the fact that you’re someone who “works hard.”

To this day I am wired to DO. To produce. To improve. To be useful to those around me. To create solutions. To achieve.

But I’ve recovered a part of the messaging that was left out when I was a girl:

Work hard, rest harder.

It took me almost 4 decades to get this. I still struggle to get it right.

In 2020, I learned that if I created one thing and coached one person a day I would create the life and business I wanted. I put all the shiny objects down and put my attention on writing things that were as valuable as possible. I wanted to create in a way that my free content rivaled things that people pay for. There is nothing more satisfying than when someone says ‘that post you wrote on such and such…it helped me enroll my next client or I upped my fees or reworked my schedule to have more time with my family’...THAT is why I write every single week for the past 2 years.

Coach one person a day. If I have a coaching conversation with one person every day, or a few per week, I know that the money always follows that.

Create one thing, serve one person. Six figures working around 20 hours per week. A new paradigm that rivaled my nature to work hard.

In 2021, I added a CEO “think week” which meant I’d do client work / client-facing things the first 3 weeks of the month. The last week would be devoted to the growth and development of the business. Sometimes these weeks would be intense: I’d write a new program, record content, or take a course whereas other times I’d schedule doctor’s appointments, have lunch with friends, or take a trip with my love.

Bit by bit, I was dismantling the hard work mantra that had been running my whole life.

I was resting more. Playing more. Serving from a place of greater creativity and presence. And the income continued to go up.

Late 2021 I learned I was pregnant. So in 2022, I took my 4-part client creation framework and turned it into a self-study program. I had designed my business around my ideal lifestyle over the years and it served me greatly entering into motherhood. In the first 90 days of my son’s arrival, I’ve worked an average of 10 hours a week, with $55k generated in revenue. Had you told me this would be my reality a few years ago - it would have been hard to believe it.

Having a newborn has been the greatest lesson of all in being over doing. When I thought I couldn’t be challenged anymore in this area, I became a mom and it’s the greatest challenge of all. I read something the other day that summarized it perfectly:

“Many of us are raised to be a human doing. Always busy working, moving, looking, reading, creating. We need to unlearn doing when we’re with our babies. They need us to be, not do.”

I realized that an area I had done so much work in, and made a lot of progress around, there was still more to unlearn and learn. This is how life is always happening for us. The growth is always in the challenge we’re given. I’m being called to grow even more in this category. It’s hard. It takes time.

But what I know is that when you put your attention on things you can create them faster than you’d imagine. My hope is that you can learn from my mistakes and lessons.

Because the greatest gift you can give yourself and your clients is to live an extraordinary life—one that honors the work and rest that you’re equally here to enjoy.

As always, send me a DM if you’d love help sorting this out for yourself. I do all of this in a 5-month 1:1 trusted advisor program that puts you on the path of your most aligned high-impact coaching / consulting business - a handful of the right clients at the right price each year - without compromising on the quality of life that you want. It’s pretty awesome :)